you're the reason why i burst and why i bloom....
lightning bugs
i think i'm subconsciously sabotaging my relationship.

my depression is flaring up again for no god damn reason.
i get upset and depressed about the tiniest thing.
he wants me to tell him what's wrong.
i tell him what's wrong.
we get into long drawn-out emotional conversations.
he ends up getting depressed too.

why why why do i do this?
i found someone i can be happy with, and something inside me is freaking out and backtracking and afraid and i'm SICK of it.
and it's unfair to him!

i've woken up feeling horrible 3 days in a row.
all because i've finished a conversation with me feeling better (slightly) and him feeling worse.

my friend brad says it's because i'm finally quitting smoking.

well if it comes down to no cigarettes or behavioral problems, then bring on the nicotine, because i don't think i can continue this way.

in one ear and out the other....
lightning bugs
wow, i haven't updated this thing in a loooooooooooooooooong time.
don't know why i still have it, really.
i devote all my time these days to myspace and facebook.

so, the quarter's started anew.
i'm not really excited about my classes, because they're all the same except for 2. now i have english and math. english looks like it's gonna be a bitch because there's craploads of attendance rules and bitchy anal-retentive policies. but math i think could actually be fun. my professor is hilarious, goes off on random tangents in class, and reminds me of woody from "cheers". and my wonderful friend matt is also in the class, so it'll be bearable. w00t.

oh yeah.
and i have a new boyfriend.
i'm happy, because he's probably one of the sweetest boys in the world :D
if you heard half the things he's said to me in the last few days, you'd die.

ok, carry on boys and girls.

i won't tell anybody....
lightning bugs

jesus, i'm so excited.
it's coming out 12 june in the UK, i wish i knew when it was coming out in the states.

AAAAAGH, so many good bands, so little time!

i swear i knew it all along....
lightning bugs
i just went through and edited my friends list, mostly of people who don't have the same lj name anymore.
so double check. i might have deleted you and forgotten that you still exist.

don't you even weep....
lightning bugs

you heard the lady.
friends only.
comment, or bugger off!


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